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13 February 2009 @ 03:19 am
what do you do in the middle of the night when you can't sleep and your mind is running at a zillion thoughts per second ? ... journal entry .. mayhaps :/ why not ..
This move was not all I hoped it would be .. but I think thats just everything in life .. nothing goes as you expect it to .. I guess i'm just feeling rather shut in and secluded .. I hate the winter it's so gray and dead .. great for scenic photography .. not so much for a healthy state of mind .. I fully understand hibernation now .. or at least feel the need too.. I could sleep for days hoping to wake up to spring already .. [ just skip this rain bullshit ] I was not built for canadian weather I wish my parents would have anticipaited this when fucking and chosen to move somewhere where its always warm and sunny before my birth ..
oh well win some lose some .
why the hell am I awake at 3:30 a.m .. oh right because Mr. Perfect failed to live up to my expectations yet again .. I don't think it's asking alot to expect your significant other to WANT to spend at least a little time with you .. out side of the few night a week that he shows up for sex and sleep only to fux0r off again for a few days .. maybe i'm unrealistic .. or maybe I need to start dating men closer to my age and stop dating boys? theres a thought .. but who am I kidding right .. I think my problem is that i'm intellectually starved ... how often can you gossip about the same shit day in and day out .. play video games or watch people play video games without getting bored? I mean great occasionally when he is high he provides me with good cause for laughter.. and for awhile I needed that .. but the inital spark is starting to fade quickly ... stagnent.. stale .. I like him enough .. the sex is good .. but I'm getting bored and that is never a good thing :/

I've often thought if i could take the best traits out of my ex's i would have in fact the perfect man .. but then what the hell would he see in me ...lmao

on that note.. I'm going to find something else to occupie my mind and bore the general public a lil less
26 August 2008 @ 07:10 pm

okay so jenny i am so so so god damed sorry .. my computer is all fucked or well msn is and facebook is full of viruses .. so i can not find anyway for us to talk directly .. i love you .. i miss you ... please leave me a msg !!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
X <3 X <3 X <3 X <3 X <3 X


24 July 2008 @ 09:13 am
roflmao .. it's soo stupid it's funny 

you buy cat 40 msk ? 


unlike their drunken dwarven friends to the north  healthcare is not free ..ahahahahahah 

celline dion 


22 July 2008 @ 08:35 pm
You are allowed to place three items from your lifetime into a box that will be opened in fifty years. What do you put in, and why?
 well in 50 years that would make me 82 ... soo in that case anything and everything that will remind me the most of my family , my dreams and copies of important documents that i'm sure to missplace and will be glad to find i'd been smart enough to put copies in a box 50 years earlier .
11 July 2008 @ 07:51 pm
so you are wondering so I thought I  would share  

we start with china wine [ watch the asian gals of course] 


now the next is a favorite vid because thes gals can dance and they are having fun  not taking them selves all that serious.. screw face and all dat

we got just dance , everybody dance [meritol family]  and china wine at the end .


then we go dutty wine [ tony matterhorn] 


then a lil hot wuk  


mind you you gotta get past the intro to get into it and really you don't get alot of dance with this vid .. will post a better one later 

k that brings me to buss a wine ..

0R ..

yea i think thats enough for now ..lol .. enjoy :D 

0ut -
08 July 2008 @ 08:58 pm

"Quietdrive Rise From The Ashes lyrics"


I will now rise from the ashes
Don't call me pretentious
I'm sitting here making my own rules
And if I fall from the ceiling
You'll be down there waiting
And my only hope
Is falling down

I felt this way before
I fell right through the floor
And I am certain I've become
Broken, bruised, and numb
Would you restate your opinion
And hold back your investigation
Do you see the sins you're making
Cause I've made them all before

I will now rise from the ashes
Don't call me pretentious
I'm sitting here making my own rules
And if I fall from the ceiling
You'll be down there waiting
And my only hope
Is falling down

And by my own admission
You'll find that my condition
Is worse than you imagined
You're better off if you know
But every time before that I
Tried to measure pain inside
You can't ignore it
Right now I can't ignore it

I will now rise from the ashes
Don't call me pretentious
I'm sitting here making my own rules
And if I fall from the ceiling
You'll be down there waiting
To finish me

Inside of me (x7)
I'll take my heart
And rip my feelings out
Before they make me doubt
And I'll fall down with flames burning
Alive again
As long as you know that

I will now rise from the ashes
Don't call me pretentious
I'm sitting here making my own rules
And if I fall from the ceiling
You'll be down there waiting
To finish me
Finish me

17 June 2008 @ 10:39 am
Who introduced you to LiveJournal? Why did you first open an account or get involved?
 ahahahahahah completely Nigels Fault KTHX :P
10 June 2008 @ 02:47 pm

Mayhaps one of the better that i have written ? 


exceptance settles in
overcasting the doubt
did he love me, I guess I’ll never know
I left the window open
the candle still held flame
and the flicker of false hope
was maddening in it’s deception
a luxury I can not afford myself
in this time of 5 minute love affairs
that pass for something more meaningful
in there short existance
and I ask myself these days.....
did we exsist at all

this was my favorite thing about this time of year in my youth .. I still look back from time to time and remember those days fondly ... it is truely heart breaking to watch what is happening to the youth of today :/ 
June 04, 2008
Paul Morse
The Hamilton Spectator

Hamilton police have linked two attacks on bush parties last month to a group of violent thugs who stabbed and pistol-whipped victims.

Now, police are warning students and parents to avoid bush parties. They’re concerned partygoers are being targeted.

“They came there looking for trouble,” said Detective Sergeant Mike Campbell, head of downtown’s Criminal Investigation Division unit.

A 15-year-old boy was attacked by two men as he walked along the Rail Trail near the Dundurn Street stair May 9. He was stabbed in his left shoulder and his back in what police think may have been an aborted robbery. The boy did not need to be hospitalized.

On May 25, six people were injured when four suspects approached a bush party breaking up at Sassafrass Point at Cootes Paradise.

A 17-year-old girl was hit in the side of the head with a silver handgun, but refused hospital treatment.

“An 18-year-old man ran out of the party with a knife still sticking in him,” Campbell said.

Police say two of the Sassafrass Point attackers  match the Rail Trail suspects.

30 May 2008 @ 07:08 pm

While yes there are two sides to every story, Wendy Portillo Told Melissa Barton directly what she had done To Alex that day. and while this story is verry much about Alex and his Ties to The now Up in Arms Autism Community. I did Actaully Respond to the artical xxXRandomGirlXxx is my user name if you would like to confirm this .. My corncern is not just merely for Alex , I am also Horrified by what his "Typically Developing" class mates were asked to participate in , which in my opinion was just shy of a public stonning of this child . and YES had this incident happend to a " typically developing child" I would still be horrified .. I don't know how things are done in Florida but here we have anti bullying laws and I'm Sorry but as I see it What Wendy Portillo did was  bully that poor child and instruct her students to take part in it! you mentioned her exemplary
record of teaching .. I also read other examples of her teaching capabilities and dedication to her students which to me indicates that she was taking Alex's behavioural Issues Personally and hence sought to Punish him for them By Tramatizing Him . So witch hunt Indeed. burn her at the stake. The lesson she taught her other students that day was one of intollerence to Strudents with Special needs, the lesson she has taught the Autism community is to fear for the safty of our children when seeking Education programing for our children.
as for Teacher comments .. Alex is in the begining Stages of Diagnosis it takes time to decide what he is capable of and untill that is decided and supports are put in place he is of course going to have behavioral issues.. so condone taking it out on this child ?? not likely .. blame the child and his mother ? .. not likely .. and I'm positive if it were possible to place our "specially abled" children in Special classes we all would.. even if that means to single them out, when we want to teach them to adapt and belong to learn to function apporopriately learning from participaiting with their Typically developing classmates. yes our children are disruptive at times, believe me it happens in the home too if the teachers want to complain about having Dissruptive speacial needs kids in their classrooms they should complain to the goverment for not providing enough supports in the classroom to help Teachers Cope with the Disturbences caused by Our Specialy Abled Children not seek to dis-include our children from classrooms..
This incident has given Question to many aspects of education .. but as we all look at it from our own points the main theme is lost .. What Wendy Portillo saw as fitting punishment was cruel and YES Emotinally abusive.. And I personally will seek to have her terminaited from ever teaching again
I personally would not want her encouraging my Typically developing children to bully a Special needs individual to teach them intolorence and I certainly would not want her to be able to inflict her abusive behaviour upon my Autistic son.
And Believe me I say this very regretably as I did read what an Exceptional Teacher she was, fundraising , extracaricular activities.. for the typically developing student she appears to be a dream come true.. but not being able to maintain composure at the defiance and behavioural issues of a five year old Special needs child and snaping and behaving in such Questionable manner,  I'm going to have to side with the lynch mob if not termination at the very least she should be forced to attend one of the various seminars going on in canada this summer on how to educate and disciplan Autistic Students.
I have an Autistic Son Anthony, For Alex to cry over this and cry that "he is not special" someone quite obviously had to Have Also Told him that he was not " special" in retort of his being "specially abled"  along with "disgusting" and " annoying" I don't know how much or little you know about the Autism Spectrum Disorders but these children have a very hard time with social interaction as is , because of their behaviours which they can't always control .. their self esteem is already low.. it's hard for them to make friends because the have these complusive behavoiurs and sometimes say inapropriate things. so I assume that since Wendy Portillo was aware that Alex was in the diagnosis stages , she would also be aware of what I have just told you , which is why this issue is very sensitive to the autism community , also why to me This seems very likely that she just completely lost her composure and delibertly took her fustraition out on Alex she wanted to hurt him .
thank you for your time .

this story has me so freakin furious i could scream . so obviously this teacher enjoys educating , I feel bad for her, but what she did was beyond cruel and thus she should be made accountable for her actions.